I was already frustrated with Rob from the night before because he was up until 2am on the computer. Granted, harmless, but I know how he gets when he's tired. (GRUMPY!) The girls woke us up this morning and Robbie was still sleeping soundly next to me. I was so frustrated that I was being woken up when in my head I had this grand idea I'd get to "sleep in." Granted, I did get to and of course it didn't occur to me that Rob had already gotten up, got the girls ready for the beach, fed them breakfast, packed the car... etc. I got up, put the girls' hair up in ponytails and helped put sunscreen on. My mood was OK at that point but not great - not where I should be. They left and I was FREE to do what I wanted to do.
I folded socks.
I folded socks. That's what I wanted to do. So instead of having a beach day with my kids, I folded socks.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't regret not going. I was tired, Robbie was tired, it was good to be near a bed where I could just nurse him to sleep and I could read my book with no interruptions.
I got some laundry done, I picked up the girls' rooms, I DID get things done and I felt great after I did get those things done.
So then the kids get home with Rob and they've had a great time. Chaos ensues just like it always does and my negativity comes back. I make lunch for all of us (easy Pizza!) and Rob is in a foul mood. You can tell he was trying not to be but he lost his nice flip flops on the beach and he was just mad at himself. What I wanted to say was "Who cares about the dang flip flops!" I feed off his moods like there's no tomorrow. I shouldn't do that and I need to figure out a way around that. Then he dropped his pizza all over the floor and stormed out. Poor guy. I then felt bad about the flip flops... and the pizza.
We said a few short things to one another that were not said with understanding, patience and kindness. Every single time I open my mouth and venom comes out, I regret it.
Now when we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we also guide the whole animal.
Jesus Christ's love needs to be my bit.
So anyway, the afternoon continues and it's mostly OK. I still don't feel very good inside but I try to let things go. I did yell a few times today at the kids (although justified that I got on to them for x,y,z, I didn't need to yell to accomplish it.
And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among the parts of our [bodies]; it pollutes the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell. For every creature—animal or bird, reptile or fish—is tamed and has been tamed by man.
We went to a family baby shower this evening and were surrounded by warm & friendly people. We got home at bedtime and the kids are peacefully sleeping now. I am tired. My body is tired and my mind is tired. It is time for me to rest. The night has ended well.
2 Corinthians 6
Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; 10sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.